5 Communication Tips For Effective Co-Parenting
25/10/2023
When parents of children are required to co-parent following a separation or divorce, one of the most effective tools they can possess is the ability to communicate. When both parents can communicate in an open and respectful manner it has a hugely beneficial impact on the children because it creates a stable and nurturing environment. Here are five communication tips to help you effectively co-parent after separation.
- Consider your children’s best interests
At the centre of every decision you make as a co-parent should be your children’s best interests and what you can do to provide the best possible environment in which they can thrive.
Whenever it comes time to make a decision, you should ask yourself how it will impact your children and whether your immediate choice will contribute to their well-being. If it does not, you should reassess your stance. Ultimately, keeping your children’s best interests at the forefront of your mind will help you to stay focused on the bigger picture and make choices that support your children’s growth and development.
- Prioritise effective communication
All co-parents will need to communicate to some degree, but in order to co-parent effectively it is crucial that the communication is clear and open and that both parents want the co-parenting arrangement to run smoothly. Even if you find it difficult to communicate more generally with your ex, where matters of your children are concerned you should be as transparent and candid with each other as possible in order to avoid ambiguity, which can lead to resentment and unnecessary arguments.
Be mindful that the other parent may not have all the information you do and be willing to share information about your children’s appointments, extracurricular activities, school events and social engagements. A simple way to do this is by creating a shared calendar which you both have access to, allowing you both to input important dates so you can stay organised and ensure everyone is on the same page. In addition, it would be prudent to find and use the communication channels which work most effectively for both parties. For most, this will be an email or text message, which means both parties also have a record of what was said to one another, helping to avoid miscommunication.
- Establish your boundaries
It is crucial that you set clear boundaries and associated guidelines in order to keep your co-parenting relationship on track. You can establish boundaries by defining your roles and responsibilities and your rules for communication. Included in these boundaries can be topics related to your children’s upbringing that you would say a ‘hard no’ to, so that these issues are not open for negotiation by either parent. They may pertain to education, medical care and extracurricular activities and the sooner that each of your expectations and boundaries are established the sooner you can turn your attention to co-parenting effectively.
- Practice active listening
It can be difficult to sit and listen to someone else speak without interjecting – particularly where your children’s lives are involved – but practising active listening is a fundamental aspect of effective communication, especially when it comes to co-parenting. When discussing your children or any other matters related to co-parenting, you should give the conversation your full attention and let the other parent express their thoughts and feelings without interruption. This will give you time to absorb their comments, reflect and then respond in a thoughtful and considerate manner.
Even if you do not agree with it, you should acknowledge the other person’s perspective and remember that co-parenting is about compromise and finding common ground. By being empathetic and open to understanding the other parent’s point of view, you can help to reduce conflicts and improve the overall co-parenting experience.
- Keep your emotions in check
It is normal for a range of emotions to be felt when co-parenting. Even if you have a good relationship with your former spouse, there may be times when you disagree on a decision about your children, or the co-parenting arrangement becomes complex, confusing or stressful. Despite this, it is important to manage your emotions effectively, as letting them go unchecked can lead to destructive conflicts that impact poorly on your children. When you communicate with your co-parent, try to remain calm and composed, even if what you are discussing is a difficult or emotionally charged topic.
If there are times you find yourself becoming upset, don’t act on the emotion immediately. Try to take a step back and allow yourself time to cool down before continuing the conversation. You may also find it helpful to seek the support of a therapist or counsellor who can offer solutions to managing your emotions and finding healthy ways to cope with the challenges of co-parenting.
If you need assistance with a parenting plan, get in touch with our divorce and family lawyers in Townsville today.